When we got in, I threw my bag down changed my clothes and sat in my chair just sitting there staring at the ground and thinking.... why.... I feel horrible physically but I still left to work, after days of no success at all I still left to show determination. I feel as if I sacrificed so much, why couldn't we see some of the blessings like the other Elders saw...
I knelt down and I remember saying someting like... God I am frustrated and full of doubts and questions. If this work is divine where is the help after so much sacrifice. As I open the scriptures right now help me to find something, comfort, encouragement something.... and I finished my prayer.... As I said amen I felt more peace and I randomly opened my quad. it fell first in Daniel 12 when I read this verse "35 And some of them of understanding shall fall, to try them, and to purge, and to make them white, even to the time of the end: because it is yet for a time appointed." I felt a bit better but then through foot notes I was led to this scripture that changed everything in Zecariah 13:9
9 And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The Lord is my God.
as I read the verse a powerful spirit entered into my heart as if to say, "Brandon don't you doubt.... I am right here." I couldn't help but begin to cry. I was once again blessed with an answer to my prayer right in that moment. I know that He was there not only in that moment but also outside in the rain. My heart was completley softened and humbled. God answers prayers, I know that is true. He is aware of our struggles and above all He loves us. there is an end to this story but I don't have time to tell it now nor does it matter very much. I learned a very valuable lesson this week and I grew closer to my Heavenly Father because of this experience.
My message to all of you going through the "fire" keep on enduring, in prayer, in scripture study. He is there even when you feel He is not but we all need to pass through the fire to be purified, refined, and even perfected.
I love you all so much and hope you have a great week!:)
(sorry for the long e mail)